Newmania: Secret Squirrel Business

Thinking back 12 months, there was one LNP policy that I agreed with: the one about ensuring that the business of government was conducted openly, with transparency and accountability. Yes, it’s all of the big governance buzzwords crammed in together, but it means something, particularly in a state like Queensland which has no upper house to provide balance or oversight.


With the CMC in turmoil, it seems like time to revisit that pre-election promise and see just how King Campbell and his band of not-so merry ministers is doing in terms of being accountable to the people who elected them.

The page is gone...whooosh...although I did find the policy points below. It's unclear what they relate to, although it could be the detailed dot-points of the Accountability policy. I don't recall the detail.

In fact, the entire LNP website has been transformed from the website that included all of the Can Do policies for Queensland to a site featuring Tony Abbott and placing the Queensland LNP in a federal context. That makes sense – there’s a federal election in less than six months. Unfortunately that doesn’t help those of us who wanted to keep an eye on those pesky election promises. They’re not there.

Perhaps you remember the LNP’s five point Can Do Action Plan, and if not, the headlines are conveniently preserved on the new-look website. The five points were

o Grow a Four Pillar Economy

o Lower the cost of living for families by cutting waste

o Deliver Better Infrastructure and better planning

o Revitalise Front Line Services

o Restore Accountability in Government

  So what does this ‘accountability in Government’ policy mean? According to the website, it includes such flimsy concepts as

o CanDo LNP’s First 100 Days Plan

o A Public Service to Serve Queensland

o Empowering Queensland Communities

o Giving communities a choice on de-amalgamation

o Planning and reinstating the role of the Coordinator-General

I’m hard-pressed to see what any of those items have to do with the literal meaning of accountability as it applies to a democratically elected government. They could have called that policy grouping “F*cking Around with Queensland’s Government Structure” and it would have been as accurate and as enlightening.

Mercifully, the current website includes links that take you to the detail that was included in the original policy document…or so I had hoped. Instead, when I clicked the link, I was confronted absolutely nothing. The page has I was looking for, with details of the Accountability policy has not been loaded into the new-look LNP website. 

In fact, of the five major policy areas that the LNP themselves promoted in 2012, only one now links to anything more substantial than a slogan. Don’t be surprised that it’s the Queensland Economy page that has been preserved.



In the absence – deliberate or otherwise – of the LNP’s definition of an accountable government, I’ll try to define it: An accountable government is one which is transparent, responsive and ultimately answerable to the electorate.

That’s the kind of definition I envisaged when I first heard that "restoring accountability" was not just part of the LNP vocabulary, it was a key LNP policy. But where are we now, fifty-three weeks down a pretty unpleasant path? Do we have that accountable government I hoped for?

Queensland’s Crime and Misconduct Commission (CMC), seems like a place to start and after today's shenanigans, I’d say not. The results of an in-depth enquiry into the CMC were released today, and part of the recommendations included these secret-squirrel suggestions:

 Abolish ethical standards units in Queensland government departments, replacing them with ‘responsible management’

 Give the state government the legal right to refuse access to documents, without having to supply a reason

 Prohibit the CMC from investigating any matters without the permission of the attorney- general

 Make it illegal for anyone, including people who have made a complaint, to talk about their complaint

That looks to me like a whole lot less transparency around the government, and if the electorate can't see what the government is doing, can't request enquiries without being silenced, can't access documents with certainty, and have no independent oversight within their government departments, how can they hold the government accountable for anything?
Perhaps they'll do better with accountability should they win the federal election in September. At least they'll have an upper house to keep the egos in check.

The Clivening: Clive Harder

Last week, the conservative love affair of the century ended. The ultimately futile attractions of the LNP to Clive's millions and Clive to the benefits of an LNP Government has failed. Clive has dumped the LNP; the LNP has counter-dumped Clive. There's no happy ending in sight.

Surprisingly, it is crazy Clive F Palmer, with his soccer addiction, his Titanic replica, his Jurassic Park-themed golf resort (formerly the Hyatt Regency Coolum), and another mega-resort and international airport planned for the Sunshine Coast who has the most support. Politically, Clive has (or had) that pesky life membership of the LNP, plus his seven-digit donation to the party, a conspiracy theory linking the CIA to the Greens, threats to run for federal parliament against Wayne Swan, a stoush with Tony Abbott and a rare talent for media conferences that would make him political dynamite.

So what is Clive Palmer up to? He is speaking out against the reign of King Campbell, in a manner that most voters to the left of Genghis Khan will appreciate. King Campbell's popularity within Newmania has dropped from a high in the 60s, before he started his Campbell Scissorhands routine, to somewhere in the 40s in around six months. Wonks are claiming that this is the fastest fall in post-election leadership approval and popularity ever seen in Australia.

Voters have been protesting against King Campbell's Slash & Burn tactics for months now; Opposition Leader Annastacia Palasczcuk has tried to lead an effective opposition and has been entirely ineffectual; the media, including the Murdochian Courier Mail has has been appropriately critical, too. Nothing has broken through the way Clive's criticism has.

Clive Palmer has a decades-long relationship with the LNP and it's predecessor. Even without his business successes, he's impossible to ignore, particularly when he compares King Campbell's first eight months with the Bjelke Petersen government, and claims the Newman regime is worse. Clive believes in the goodness of conservative politics, and largely bankrolled the amalgamation of the Queensland Liberals and Nationals, creating the party he just dumped. The LNP is, in part, his creation, and through that, he enabled Labor's defeat.

Clive Palmer carries a lot of conservative political clout - dare I suggest he has even more clout without he LNP? Imagine a Clive who wasn't wedded to LNP mantras; a Clive who could apply his business expertise to running the state while still being true to his values. This is the man who donated substantial funds to the Queensland Labor movement to assist public servants who'd been sacked. He doesn't hesitate to put his money where his mouth is.

When Clive parted ways with the LNP after that unforgettable media conference where he referred to King Campbell as Caesar, he asked us to expect something big. Someone should probably tell Clive that when he calls a presser, "big" is usually an understatement.

Clive also likes the visual, and for that media conference he stood in front of a yellow and black backdrop covered in the words "Together we achieve the extraordinary". I wondered if that was significant. It's a slogan adopted by organisations ranging from fitness clubs to the Jefferson Baptist Church to various construction companies, metalwork businesses, corporate consultants and...Clive Palmer himself, who had the words included on the billboard he erected in Wayne Swan's suburban Brisbane seat of Lilley. There was no party branding, just the slogan and Clive's name and easily recognisable face.

The LNP must be curious and more. They have weathered the Flegg resignation, but still have to deal with Michael Caltabiano and Ros Bates. Ray Hopper's defection to Katter's Australia Party might not have shaken a government with a majority the size of Jupiter, but today, the last sitting week of the year, Gold Coast LNP member Alex Douglas is stirring the party pot over his removal from the Ethics Committee, and Carl Judge, yet another LNP member, will in all likelihood be disendorsed by the party. Bob Katter thinks there are more LNP members ready to jump ship, but which way?

The million dollar question: What about a Clive Party?

Would Clive Party throw his money behind another political venture? If he did, would he run for office as it's leader? Would other, disgruntled LNP MPs dump the LNP to play in Clive's sandpit? If they did, where does that leave Katter's Party? Could Clive summon seven or more LNP members to 'be extraordinary' with him, allowing his party to replace the ALP as the party in Opposition?

With Clive, anything is possible. He loves being the ringmaster, revealing his latest and greatest thought-bubbles to the world. When a man like that ends a press conference with a promise of something bigger, he could well be gearing up to announce the formation of his own political party, or a plan to challenge King Campbell head-on in Ashgrove, or release some hitherto unknown documentation implicating half the LNP in dirty deeds, or a plan to save Queensland by building replica Titanics and cloning dinosaurs...or he could be announcing that he's had enough enough of the whole shebang and he's going to colonise the moon.

It's Clive, after all. Nothing is too far out there.

Newmania: Existential Politics

Sshhh. Don’t ask – it’s Secret Squirrel Government Business!


The thing about keeping just about anything in the dark is that eventually, it’ll develop an old, cold, mildewy smell, like damp ugg boots left in the cupboard during a humid summer.

If it smells rotten, it probably is. It’s a whole series of things that are rotten, and this time it’s not policy, jobs being cut, programmes slashed and facilities closed, although that continues to provide a unique stench. This time the brutality of bringing the state “back on track” is drowned out by a series of internal events effecting the Government, the Public Service and the LNP itself.

This morning, Graeme Hallett spoke to the media, starting with some flattering words for his former boss. Those words were ineptitude and arrogance. Mr Hallett should be good with words; he was Minister Flegg’s media advisor, and long time Liberal Party staffer who had also worked with the Howard Government, and with Dr Flegg when he was campaigning in 2006. Mr Hallett has some credibility, and contacts in the media. He’s promised documentary evidence to prove that his former boss is unfit for high public office.

The allegation is that Mr Flegg’s son Johnathon, who is a lobbyist, has made over 50 calls to the Minister’s office. These activities need to be logged in a register, which according to Mr Hallett, shows only a couple of instances. To further confuse matters, Minister Flegg stated during the budget estimates process that there had been a handful of occasions of contact.

So is it a couple of times? Half a dozen times? Fifty times? And seriously, who cares?

We all should care. Lobbyists, by definition have an agenda, and when one lobbyist makes multiple visits to a Minister’s office, the agenda will make its way into the conversation.

Does it matter that the Minister and lobbyist in question are father and son? I believe it does. Do you pop in to see your father and his cronies at his workplace four or five times a week? Does your Mum call in regularly to discuss her work with you and your staff? In the case of Minister and lobbyist, you’d think both parties would be making a singular effort to ensure that everything is correct, and is seen to be correct, particularly in a new government from the party who brought us the most corrupt government Australia has ever…er…caught.

Consider the surface of Doctor Flegg’s little Ministry well and truly scratched. It may be Mr Hallett who is speaking out this morning; Flegg also sacked his Chief of Staff last Thursday, and just yesterday, Education Minister John Paul Langbroek sacked his assistant, who had previously worked for Flegg. Three staffers from the one Minister’s office sacked in under a week is not coincidence, and one of them is pissed off enough to gather documents on his way out the door and distribute them to media. What do the other two know?

Then there are the rumours about Right To Information documentation. King Campbell has issued a royal decree that ministerial staff are not to be issuing documents requested under Right To Information laws. In fact, King Campbell stated that such requests were to be referred to the relevant Department for assessment and action. Daniel Hurst reported in the Brisbane Times that Minister’s Flegg’s media staff had made some RTI decisions in contradiction to King Campbell’s orders.
Even more intriguing is the suggestion that the RTI requests in question were made by Opposition Leader Annastasia Palasczcuk, and that the information she had requested related to the register lobby – and that the register was factually incorrect.

It doesn’t stop there. Mr Hallett has stated that Dr Flegg continued to practice as a medical doctor while being paid to work as a full-time Minister, a choice which Mr Hallett says he begged Minister Flegg to reconsider. I doubt that’s illegal; it’s just bad form.


Minister Flegg has addressed Mr Hallett's accusations in Parliament today. According to Minister Flegg, it’s just a disgruntled former employee who’s taking his bitterness out on his former boss, and his documentary evidence is inconclusive. It’s a predictable response, but at least it’s not violent. These days, disgruntled ex-employees are usually associated with mass shootings in the USA.

It’s unlikely we’ll get to see any footage of Minister Flegg’s speech though; Speaker Fiona Simpson has banned television cameras from the Chamber.

…and now Henry Palasczcuk, former Labor Minister and father of the Leader of the Opposition, is paraphrasing songs from Evita and tweeting whole verses. Can this day get any stranger?

You bet it can, ‘cause today, Minister Ros Bates is in Da House. Minister Bates has been off work, recovering from shoulder surgery and providing emotional support to her hapless son, 25 year old Ben Gommers. Ben lucked into a parliamentary liaison role on a six figure salary, but has recently been off work, suffering from depression. Mr Gommers works for the Department of Transport and Main Roads. Their Director-General, Michael Caltabiano, is still suspended on full pay while the Crime and Misconduct Commission investigate his involvement in lobbying firm Entrez Vous where Minister Bates and Mr Gommers were co-directors.

Aaah yes, Newmania’s infamous Crime and Misconduct Commission is investigating the conduct of two Ministers, a Director General, and a minister’s son, and the relationships between them. I suppose they will be well practised when Minister Flegg, his lobbyist son and his unhappy staff come before the CMC, as they most probably will. If there’s a CMC left.

What’s that you say? King Campbell is slowly, quietly, dismantling the CMC?

Welcome to Newmania, where there is no Upper House to temper the excesses of the Newmanian government (or any other government). In this parliament, there’s almost no Opposition either (and they’ve been evicted from their offices in Parliament House and relocated down the road). Mercifully, the media is still welcome, but not with their cameras pointed at the chamber, and not in their former tea room. There are cutbacks everywhere.

The people of Newmania need the CMC more than ever. Since July, there has been a headcount reduction of at least 44 through voluntary redundancy, plus 13 forced redundancies last week. That’s about 15% of their workforce gone, at a time when they already had cases queuing for investigation, and when the CMC itself is being investigated by a panel appointed by King Campbell. So now we have the CMC, an “impartial” government agency, being investigated by the Government, while simultaneously investigating
the government. I can't see that ending well.

And Mr Hallett couldn’t take his concerns to the CMC, because the CMC is under instruction to dismiss complaints which are politically driven.

Thank god there’s a Committee of the Legislative Assembly Ethics Committee to oversee the ethical conduct of members. LNP members outnumber Labor members 5-2 on the Ethics Committee, but that’s less unbalanced than the ratio of LNP to Labor in the actual parliament, so we shouldn’t complain, right? It’s not like the LNP is running Queensland entirely without opposition or oversight.


BREAKING: Minister Bates has confirmed that her son’s flatmate is working as an advisor in her office. I’m tempted to add “der”.

Science Is Not Religion

A hurricane does not have to make landfall to be a hurricane. Science doesn’t have to be believed to be the truth.

Today is the first day of the LNP’s first conference since their astonishing victory in Queensland in March. There are standing ovations, 101 items on the agenda, over 900 delegates. and aside from the usual barrage of political ephemera, one particular branch of the LNP has resolved to have climate science – which it calls propaganda - removed from school curricula.

In other words, this branch of the LNP supports and promotes restricting the access that children have in school to scientific knowledge. This is alarmingly close to censorship. So who are these people, and what is their justification for suggesting this awful change?

“The Noosa State Electoral Council should call on Education Minister John-Paul Langbroek to ‘require Queensland Government schools to remove environmental propaganda material [and] in particular post normal science about climate change’.”

LNP Member for Noosa Glen Elmes has absolutely no qualifications in science whatsoever, and neither does his influential party boss, LNP State President Bruce McIver. McIver, who lives on the Sunshine Coast (possibly in Elmes’ own Noosa electorate), is a former trucker and farmer, and rules over the LNP as if it was his creation. It was, in so far as he engineered the takeover of the Liberal Party by the Nationals and authorised the destruction of decades of Queensland Liberal Party documents.

Most notably, McIver is a prominent Sunshine Coast Christian who is keen to imbue the LNP with his earnest Christians values. He is a climate change sceptic, and has referred to the way that climate science is taught in Queensland schools as ‘brainwashing’. This is just another facet of the epic battle of evolution versus creationism, and the LNP, which is heavily influenced by the Australian Christian Lobby, are trying to use their influence to sway the public school syllabus so that it’s a closer reflection of their religious beliefs.

At last year’s LNP conference, Mr McIver was applauded for stating his concerns about climate science education:

Mr McIver said last year that he was shaken by the way issues were being taught when he and his wife visited their grandson's school. "We were shocked at the way the climate change debate on one side is being pushed in the classroom," he said "And not balanced perspectively. Our kids are being brainwashed under this Labor education system."

Brainwashing is a very strong, highly objectionable term. It’s also wrong.

Are we contaminating the syllabus with propaganda when we teach children that momentum is the product of velocity and mass? Just how much science is trustworthy, and how does Mr McIver, a man with no background in science or philosophy, make such a judgment?

Let’s get out of school and talk about science versus propaganda in our world. Does Mr McIver accept the physics of flight, or does he believe that when he flies, God holds the plane in his hands? Are teachers merely taking a position when school students are taught about fermentation – perhaps someone there’s another explanation for turning water (or juice) into wine? When his family is ill, does he want them to see a doctor or call for the laying on of hands?

There is also no credible debate about the existence of Anthropogenic Global Warming, known as AGW, meaning man-made global warming. It’s barely being debated anywhere in the world, other than in Australia, on Fox News and in Lord(?) Monckton’s sitting room. Where do we draw the line? Where does Mr McIver and the LNP think science stops and propaganda starts?

For a non-religious perspective, let’s turn to a man who has published 31 books on science, and who holds qualifications in astrophysics, mathematics, computer science, medicine, biomedical engineering and philosophy. Most importantly, he won the Australian Skeptic of the Year Award in 2007. Dr Karl Kruszelnicki, well known scientist and science educator has no doubts.

Dr Karl (@Doctor Karl on Twitter) has told numerous tweeters that AGW was proven in 1988. We have known for almost 25 years now that human activity has contributed to the rate of climate change. This is neither new science nor obscure knowledge.

“I wrote a story about the possibility of climate change in 1980. In 1985 I put it into my first book. In 1988, climate scientists of the world declared that climate change was real, it was caused by humans and it was going to be bad. And then…” he pauses. “Nothing happened. And then around 2004 I started up again around the same time that Al Gore was and they’re saying everything they were saying back in 1988.”

Still, there’s nothing that anyone can say that would convince Mr McIver and his supporters at the Noosa branch of the LNP to accept the scientific evidence around AGW, and I don’t give a horse’s patoote about what he believes. My concern is that science be taught as science, and not as a rival or threat to any religion.

In fact, the argument about whether climate change should be taught in schools as part of a general science curriculum is an extension of the larger debate about religion in Australian schools, the Chaplaincy programme, and the role of religious education in a society which is becoming less and less interested in religion.

Why Politicans Should Be Chameleons

Good news for Queensland Premier Campbell Newman and his inexperienced team of Ministers, MPs and advisors: You won. On March 24, there was a state election, and you won. You can stop campaigning now. You won.

The time for promising change, for impressing donors, for flattering supporters, for doing deals with lobbyists, for courting votes, kissing babies, shaking hands and smiling until your cheeks ache is over. You won. 

Here's the bad news: now, you have to govern. 

I know that governing was the point of the whole exercise, and that Mr Newman jumped right in on Day One announcing plans and looking busy, yet the LNP seems to be having trouble letting go of the campaigning. Perhaps being in Opposition for so long has left a legacy, a mentality that demands constant public positioning as the better alternative. Queensland believed them. The LNP won, so now it's time to stop trying to win.

For most governments, there's a window of opportunity when they can focus all of their energies on governing, and with a majority the size of Clive Palmer's ego, Campbell Newman's window is indeed panoramic. But when they confuse governing with campaigning, they undermine their own mandate, and end up looking petty.

Here's an example. Yesterday, the Minister for Outdoorsy Fun Stuff, Steven Dickson announced that they had "uncovered" more evidence of wasteful Labor Government spending in the form of a planned but as yet unbuilt $6m winter Olympics training facility at the Sleeman Sports Centre near Carindale. Sounds fair enough...except that the use of the word "uncovered" and the tone of the media release suggests that the wasteful spending had been hidden by a sneaky, inept Labor Government. 

But rather than being hidden, it was announced in early December 2010 by then Sports Minister Phil Reeves, and reported in the Courier Mail. Former Member for Chatsworth Steve Kilburn recalls being at two announcements about the facility. The real story is that the Newman Government has decided that the Sleeman Ski Jump training facility is an extravagance the state doesn't need and can't afford.

Mr Dickson is the Minister now; he gets to make those decisions, and with Premier’s Newman’s budget busting tactics, we know expenditure is being cut. We didn't need another barely disguised accusation of Labor's undisciplined spending; pointing it out now doesn't get him extra votes; his team already won.

But it's not the only example of continuous campaigning. Premier Newman's announcement last week that he was doing away with state-sanctioned civil partnership ceremonies was a direct appeal to Christian voters. He admitted it…but why do it? The majority of Australian are now in favour of same-sex marriage - ironically, it's about 64%, which is about the same percentage of Australians who self-identified as Christians in the 2006 Census.

Newman himself supports same sex marriage, so in changing the rules on same sex marriage, he is working against majority opinion, his own beliefs and existing legislation, to appease one lobby group that represents the minority position, but which has its hooks into the LNP....and he's already won the election. Premier Newman doesn’t need to appease anyone; he is now in a position where he can call the shots.

Perhaps this LNP groupthink is something they learned from the torturous 2010 Federal Election, which 22 months later, Opposition Leader Tony Abbott is still trying to win. The situation is vastly different though. Premier Newman leads a record-breaking majority, while Mr Abbott has the slimmest possible margin separating him away from power. Why are they using similar strategies?

Just yesterday, Mr Abbott denied a pair which would have allowed federal Environment Minister Tony Burke to represent Australia at the United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development in Rio this week. Mr Burke won't leave the Government vulnerable by going to Rio without a pair, so the result of Mr Abbott's decision is to lessen Australia's standing as a global leader and influencer on environmental issues, and to make himself look petty. He has literally put party politics above the national interest. That doesn't just look petty; it is petty.

In Mr Abbott's case, the continual campaigning mode, identifiable by his reliance on the same three-word slogans he parroted during the official campaign, has made him a very effective and very unpopular Opposition Leader. It's time for him to change his approach: with just a year or so til the next Federal election, the electorate needs to see him as an alternative to Julia Gillard. Latest opinion polls suggest that isn't happening, although there is every chance that the Coalition will form the next government. Will “Prime Minister Abbott” remain as unpopular as he is now?

Politicians need to be chameleons. They need to know how to conduct themselves when campaigning, when in Opposition and when in Government, and fine-tune their approach depending on the situation. There’s little evidence yet that Premier Newman’s team has found its feet, and no evidence that Tony Abbott ever will. In the meantime, the electorate has had more than enough campaigning.

For now, please just get on with it.

How Embarrassing

I'm a relatively new Queenslander, having been here just ten years, but it's taken less than three months of the new Queensland LNP Government for me to feel embarrassed to be a Queenslander.

Don't misunderstand me; I wasn't always a happy Queenslander under the Beattie and Bligh Governments either. Yet in under three months, Premier Newman and his titanic team of baby MPs have annoyed me, disappointed me, frightened me, angered me and finally embarrassed me.

The Prime Minister, a handful of key federal ministers, most of the states' Premiers and  swag of top tier business leaders will meet in Brisbane this week for a national brainstorming session on Australia's role in the changing global economy. If that sounds like a bit of a big deal, that's because it could be, if the delegates are prepared to leave their titles and egos at the door.

But Premier Campbell Newman won't be there. He is too busy to represent the state that he leads at a major summit to discuss the economic future of the country. Even when the talkfest is being held in his home town. Never mind leaving his ego at the door; Premier Newman's ego is so big at the moment that he can't see around it. 

I'd like to see Premier Newman's diary for this week. I'm not denying that he has important work to do with his 100 Day Plan, yet how can he guide Queensland's future if he won't engage with the federal government, business leaders and his state counterparts? Furthermore, how can Queenslanders feel confident that we are being represented, if our most senior representative won't attend meetings being held literally up the street from his office?

Just a week after federal Environment Minister Tony Burke played a spiteful game of duelling press conferences with Queensland's Deputy Premier Jeff Seeney, this appear to be nothing more than another round of He-Man chest-beating from the new Government. Alternately, it could be a display of personal disrespect aimed at Prime Minister.

In a last minute attempt to get a seat at the table, Premier Newman offered to send a couple of junior ministers, but was told that registration for the event had closed. That's a shame, and possibly another example of politicians playing silly games, but equally, offering up a pair of junior ministers to sit at a table with the Prime Minister and her ministers,  and the heads of some of our most influential businesses, insults the rest of the participants. In any case, it wouldn't have been necessary if Mr Newman had done the right thing and accepted the invitation to represent Queensland's interests.

Premier Newman is a new player at this level; he still needs to secure those relationships. Even though the Labor Government looks like being rolled, the private sector representatives at this summit won't be. 

Premier Newman was offered a seat at the table and declined it, as did the Premiers of New South Wales and Western Australia...but this summit is not being held in Sydney or Perth. It's here in Brisbane, but it might as well be on the moon.

Common wisdom within a democracy suggests that if you don't participate in the process, you lose the right to complain if you don't like the decisions made in your absence. Decisions are made by those who show up. Premier Newman's decision to not show up undermines Queensland's position, and makes our new Premier look like an uncooperative prima donna.

How embarrassing.

Campbell, Cost Cutting & Confusion

Campbell Newman’s enormous swag of LNP members have been officially on the job for a month now, and if one thing has become obvious, it’s that there is a lot of them. Finally, with Jackie Trad looking certain to hold South Brisbane for the ALP, we can finalise numbers, leave the campaign behind, and get some governing done.

That’s not suggesting that the business of governing hasn’t been going on during the past few weeks since the Queensland ALP Government was demolished. A lot of decisions have been made, and even more have been promised. This is the way of a new government determined to sweep clean. So clean, in fact, that the seven ALP members who survived the massacre won’t even have offices in the Parliament House.  It’s not hard to believe that Parliament House wasn’t built to house a government the size of this one, which is Premier Newman’s reason for consigning the poor ALP members to Woop-Woop.

I’m not convinced though. The Legislative Assembly has 89 members and everyone one of them has to have a functional office, regardless of party affiliation. It feels a little like a classic Nationals gerrymander, where the boundaries were shunted this way and that to keep the city-slicking ALP scum well away from the seat of power.

I wasn’t in Queensland during the infamous Joh years, or the aftermath, although I heard about them. We all did. The legend of Joh is tied up with his determination to strangle anything resembling opposition, and to hell with your rights as a human being. Protests weren’t just photographed for the next day’s tabloid; “they” were photographing you for your file. Bjelke-Petersen saw public protests as a menace which disrupted traffic, upset pedestrians, motorists and shop keepers, and were mainly made up of "grubby left wing students, Anarchists, professional agitators and trade union activists".

As the reverberations of increased gun-related violence in Queensland is traced back and associated with an increase in the presence of bikie gangs, Campbell Newman is talking about enforcing laws already on the books,  which restrict the right of bikies clubs to ‘assemble’.  According to Gold Coast.com.au 

The LNP opposes the anti-association laws, and vows to repeal them, yet will consider using them anyway?

Mr Newman on Sunday said the Liberal National Party (LNP) government will consider "using the laws it inherited from the Labor party" to declare it illegal to associate with or be a member of particular bikie gangs.

and

Mr Newman reaffirmed his government's commitment to repeal the anti-association laws in favour of legislation that targets people who accumulate unexplained wealth.

Even considering using these laws opens the gate for Premier Newman to blame the former ALP Governments of Victoria, New South Wales and Queensland for being soft on crime. It’s inevitable. Along with the Big New Broom comes the free set of Steak Knives – all the better to blame the previous government with.  Get used to hearing “it’s all Labor’s fault,” a lot over the next few months.

The Blame Game had even more to offer, when one of the Bikie leaders pushed his beard aside to display the redness of his neck. Apparently, it’s all the fault of the affiliated Sydney-based clubs who let in bikies of Middle Eastern origin. Apparently they have a different ‘moral code’. It even appeared that the Courier Mail was in agreement.

In the course of its reporting on Queensland chapters of bikie clubs The Courier-Mail has identified several club members and associates of Middle Eastern origin.

Well sorry, Camel, but this Bikie business is your culture. If there are people exerting their moral code all over your culture, and the only response you can offer is violence, then you should expect the police to get involved. I’m not a fan of anti-association laws either, but it’s a better option that getting shot in the undies department at Big W.

Meanwhile, the seven ALP ministers are finding their way to their new offices, happy to legally assemble anywhere they can, including any available phone box and the back of my Barina. Not only are these ALP members being moved from the traditional opposition offices, they’re being moved to another building entirely. When the Fitzgerald Report included the provision that the Opposition must be provided with “appropriate resources and information”, I’m pretty sure that it was to prevent petty acts like this one.

Other new LNP Cost Cutting measures include

·         The axing of the Premier’s Literary Awards ($230,000 annually)

·         The axing of the ClimateSmart Home Service seven months earlier than planned (one-off saving $5m)

·         The axing of ‘The Smart State’ Number Plates in favour of The Sunshine State ($15,000 annually)

·         The Solar Dawn Project has lost $75 million in funding from the State Government

·         It’s also likely that the Queensland Climate Change Fund will be axed, saving $430 million

I don’t think it’s much of a surprise that Premier Newman is cutting programmes; his priority is to pay down the state’s debt and he has the mandate to do it.

The really controversial decisions made in Premier Newman’s first few weeks in office are the personnel changes. Department heads have been rolling down the steps, many of them replaced with notable LNP heads. Michael Caltabiano is a former Liberal high-flyer who lost both his council and local government seats and found himself on the outer. He’s back in the inner circle now, heading up Newman’s Transport and Main Roads department. That he’s an engineer and not a bureaucrat shouldn’t matter in running a multi-squillion dollar department. Should it?

The Bjelke Petersen legacy is one of great economic development, when Brisbane really did evolve from the small country town still visible in parts of the Brisbane’s inner suburbs, to a much larger country town. Yes, I’m mocking Brisbane, but mocking with love. This change during the Bjelke Petersen years was the first in a series of Great Leaps Forward for Brisbane. Since then, we’ve seen the city – and other Queensland cities - grow ever taller, and what feels like half of Victoria has moved north to the sunshine and cheaper real estate.

But Premier Newman is intent stripping Queemsland to it’s bones, at least in terms of expenditure. He’s hoping Newman’s legacy won’t be a Great Fall Backwards.

Hajnal Black: Movie Of The Week

Hajnal Black. If you're not in the South East corner of Queensland, you might not know of Ms Hajnal Black. Let me fill you in on some of the salient details. Hajnal, pronounced Highnal, is an attractive naturalised Australian of Hungarian/Israeli origin who's lived a life that's so much more than many of us can imagine.

Hajnal is a very clever lady. She has a double degree in Law and International Business, is a Barrister, has written a book or two under an assumed name, served as a local councillor, married another member of Council, contested the 2007 and 2010 Federal Elections for the LNP, is associated with Australian Tea Party, had her legs lengthened in Russia, is a convicted criminal, and as of tonight, looking quite unemployed.

All this and she's only 34.

Hang on, she had her legs lengthened? In Russia? Didn't that set off some alarm bells? 

Apparently not. In 2002, instead of kicking off her career as a legal high-flyer, she travelled to Russia and had her legs lengthened in an experimental process that must have been crazy-painful.  The entire process took about a year, during which time, Hajnal wrote a book "God Made Me Small; Surgery Made Me Tall." If you're wondering, she gained 8cm in each leg. Now she could really kick her legal career into overdrive.

Er...no. After returning - with her longer legs - to Australia, she did the media rounds, talking about her leg lengthening, but under the name Sarah Vornamen. Hajnal's book was published, again under the name of Sarah Vornamen. Surely her family and friends knew that Sarah was Hajnal, but it stayed a secret until 2009.

Hearing those alarm bells yet? They're about to get louder. 

Last year, a strange story emerged, featuring Ms Black and a former legal eagle who was now suffering from senile dementia. Ms Black was assisting in selling the gentleman's property. The trouble started when it became known that proceeds from the sale - over $1.3million - were transferred to Ms Black's bank account instead of being held in a trust account. She was found guilty of failing to act properly on behalf of the dementia patient, whom she described as a friend. 

Added to that, she failed to disclose to council that she was in possession of the additional funds. By now, it was clear that Ms Black's dual careers in law and politics were not progressing as she had planned.

We've moved out of eccentric and into criminal behaviour now. 

So last month, Ms Black must've decided it was time to show the Courts who was boss. The Courts disagreed with her assessment that she was boss, and the next thing, we have tears, tantrums, media stakeouts and bizarre car chases. Oh, and she stormed out of Court. Two warrants were  issued for her arrest.

Protip: Don't antagonise judges. Be polite, courteous, punctual. They like that better than long legs.

Next came the runaway. Ms Black went into hiding. Even her husband didn't know where she was. After a week, she resurfaced, claiming tearfully that the whole ordeal was destroying her marriage. Um...yeah.

Finally fronting Court, she was found guilty on four of the five charges, fined $5000 and had a conviction recorded. She is first person in public office in Queensland prosecuted under register of interest legislation. 

The latest chapter occurred tonight, when it was confirmed that Ms Black will not be a candidate in next week's elections for Logan City Council. Unfortunately for confused voters, Ms Black's name will appear on the ballot, but no, she's not standing.

In fact, reports are that she was literally not standing, but leaning on a crutch. I am concerned about her artificially un-shortened legs.

That's a lot of living for just 34 years: an intelligent, attractive woman had it all in front of her, hers to lose. She's well on her way to losing it all.

I wonder who should play her in the telemovie? Asher Keddie perhaps? Lisa McCune? Melissa George...?

Update April 19 2:30pm

The Brisbane Times reports that this morning, Hajnal Black lost yet another legal bid to retain her rights to one of two multi-million dollar properties.

The Federal Coalition: Double or Nothin'?

With the Queensland Nationals and Liberals uniting as one party rather than as an unbalanced Coalition, perhaps it’s time for the federal coalition parties to do the same. My country cousins are constantly complaining that the National Party does nothing for the country. In fact, even when the coalition is in government, the Nationals do less for country voters than the Independents do.


I believe that’s because the two parties that make up the Coalition are determined to remain as individual parties, with different structures, policies and platforms. As the party with fewer seats, the Nationals are routinely disregarded, as we’ve seen this past week.

It started sometime last weekend, when I saw a few tweets suggesting that Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce had contacted the Opposition Leader Tony Abbott to suggest doubling the baby bonus, from $5,000 to $10,000.

Twitter was wrong. Both Senator Joyce and Mr Abbott have denied that any such contact was made. Barnaby has gone even further and has denied that he supports the existing baby bonus, at least in its current form.

So where did this rumour come from? Where did we first hear that Barnaby supported doubling the baby bonus, and how did it gain such traction?

At midnight Saturday night, News Limited’s Online versions ran with the headline “The big push for $10,000 baby bonus by Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce”, complete with justification for the push.

Fearing a backlash over the generosity of the Coalition's proposed paid-parental-leave scheme, which would offer wealthy working women up to $75,000, the Nationals have proposed a better deal for stay-at-home mums.

"It's an incredible sacrifice for women to stay at home. You can see it in their superannuation and everything else," Senator Joyce said.

"We want to make sure people don't lose their house. Because everything is based on two incomes these days. All policies have a cost. But it's a substantial sacrifice for people not to go to work."

But when did Senator Joyce say this? Why won’t anyone on the Coalition side of politics own the statement or the policy? Why is there no footage? The Double the Baby Bonus story was reported widely, including on ABC’s Insiders and the Breakfast Giggle-Fests, the websites of politicians from both sides of the aisle, various blogs and a selection of niche magazine sites on everything from parenting to HR.

This was another big story featuring the unpredictable Barnaby Joyce, but Barnaby wasn’t confirming or denying anything. Yet.

The story was credible enough to force a joint media release from Penny Wong (Finance Minister) and Jenny Macklin (Minister for Families and Community Services). The release referred to a ‘blunderous back flip’ by the Coalition after Opposition frontbencher Christopher Pyne confirmed on ABC’s Insiders programme that “Barnaby is entitled to his ideas, but the Coalition doesn’t support the policy.”

By Sunday evening it was starting to sound flimsy, and because Barnaby’s reputation precedes him, it was all too easy to accept that he’d gone rogue and was whispering sweet somethings in Tony Abbott’s ample ears without the knowledge of the Nats. It’s no secret that he wants the leadership of the Nationals; his move from Senate to Lower House is designed to make that possible.

With surprisingly little creative googling, it’s not too hard to find the origin of the story. It’s right there on Page 23 of the Nationals 2011-2012 Policy Platform document, albeit worded a little obscurely. How it made it from a policy document to national headlines is anyone’s guess, but there it is.

And here's Christopher Pyne claiming that no, it’s not Coalition policy, although yes, it exists as policy within one of the Coalition’s policy papers. Warren Truss, Leader of the Nationals has confirmed that it’s National Policy, but not Coalition policy.

So why even mention it? I’m sure it would make a lot of stay-at-home mothers very happy, but if it’s not Liberal policy, and it’s likely to cost around $900 million dollars in the first year alone, it’s unlikely to become a reality.

After some pretty fancy backpedalling and policy doubletalk, it now seems that what Barnaby is willing to accept is a rethink of the Baby Bonus, with the Nationals’ policy as one possible way forward. That’s quite a distance from the headlines we saw on the weekend.

Historically, the Liberal Party and the Nationals (or the Country Party) have shared conservative ideology; that doesn’t seem to hold true any more. Historically, the Liberal Party has needed the support of the National Party as coalition partner in order to win and govern effectively.

If their policies are no longer aligned, and with the ALP so week across the board, perhaps now is the right time to either consolidate as a single party with a single platform, or dissolve the coalition to allow the Nationals to support what they actually believe in.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Part 2

Holy Flaming Shitballs, Queensland! The LNP has won the most astounding victory most of us can remember. In a house of 89 seats, it's looking like 76 seats will belong to the LNP, with a couple more from their conservative cousins in Katter's Australian Party. It doesn't get much better than this-just ask Clive Palmer, the LNP Godfather. He couldn't contain his excitement, referring to the humbled ALP as "gutless wonders".

It can't be all plain sailing for the LNP though. They have some mountains to climb, and with a mandate like this, the expectation will be enormous. That said, their emotional journey will be vastly different to that of the ALP. It's more akin to the situation that Kevin Rudd's team faced in 2007. We all know what happened there.

Since claiming victory last night, Campbell Newman has repeatedly pledged that his government will act with humility, grace and dignity. Sixteen or so hours in, he has kept that pledge, Clive Palmer notwithstanding.

Newman is wasting no time; he's already held a meeting with his key people, or at least those who were in Brisbane this morning. With the long months of campaigning, and polling solidly in the LNP's favour, they would have had a transition team in place, handling all those details.

Now, take a breath, close your eyes, and imagine the biggest success you can imagine. You and all the people you work with and all your friends get to walk out of your offices and into the executive offices. It's yours. 

It's a crazy, heady thing. Those people who to work up there are vacating their offices in grief and shock. The ground is moving under them. Human decency demands that the LNP allow a little space for the old team to packing their bits and bobs into archive boxes and leave the building. Time is impossible when you're pulsing with triumph, adrenaline, and a mandate for drastic change.

The next few weeks will be a series of balancing acts for the new team: the LNP is forming its first government. Who gets the key ministries? (Mr Newman is announcing a few of those as I write this.) Almost 80 people will form the parliamentary team, along with their assistants, staff, egos and agendas. Newman's military experience should come in handy; those guys know how to form functional teams.

And what about the Public Service? Some will go with the Government Restructure - John Bradley, Director General of the Premiers Department, has already been punted. I can't imagine Greg Withers, Assistant Director General of the Department of Climate Change, and Anna Bligh's husband, would be likely to hold onto his job.

And what are the priorities? What can wait? Now versus later. Regional versus state. Liberal versus Nationals. Surety versus doubt. Confidence versus inexperience. Just working out where to start is an overwhelming task. The Government may be new, but the state isn't. Countless projects are underway, and some of those aren't on the LNP's To-Do Lst. Plough on, or abandon projects half-finished?

And what should the new government do about the status of the outgoing team, given the likelihood that the ALP won't win enough seats to be a legitimate Opposition under the Queensland Constitution? Frankly, the idea of such an incredible majority, no Opposition and no Upper House doesn't seem to be in the spirit of democracy. 

As an Organisational Change specialist, I can only hope that the new LNP Government gets this right. As we saw last night, Queenslanders can be unforgiving.

But firstly and above all else, on behalf of the newbie-MPs, someone needs to find the loos.


Update: Outgoing Queensland Premier has announced her resignation from public life, forcing a by-election in her seat of South Brisbane. Campbell Newman has confirmed that the LNP will field a candidate in this by-election.

The Clivening: Part 2

Really, the idea of Clive Palmer backpedalling scares me, if only because the image of Clive Palmer on a bicycle scares me. But it was a small and basically ineffective backpedal. He must have known the reaction his words yesterday, linking the CIA to Austalian Green groups would generate. That's why he said his piece in front of a bank of microphones, rather than simply issuing a release. He wanted this reaction.

Meanwhile, the CIA is denying all knowledge. Greenpeace and the Greens are appalled and amused in equal measure and the LNP has made like a submarine and gone quiet. The Twitterverse is convulsing with laughter and the media is bemused.

Trust Professor Palmer to make a splash.

The question remains, why would someone in Clive's position announce an obviously whacky conspiracy theory? What could he possibly have to gain?

So, looks like Clive's motivation is money. Gosh. *insert shocked expression here*

But what about his undying devotion to the Liberal Party, and now, Queensland's LNP. Could it be ideological? Is he a true believer?

In simple terms, he's looking after the Libs in the hopes that they'll look after him. No-one is being disappointed. Aside from the occasional brain-snap, it's a happy, co-dependent relationship.

So I guess Clive really does have it all...with the possible exception of his sanity. He has his relationship with the LNP to sustain him, and he has his mines to...well...sustain him. Clive Palmer's Hierarchy of Needs is being met in full.

Congratulations Clive.





Conspiracy! The Clivening

Clive Palmer. What can I say? This afternoon, he went bat-shit crazy in front of the national media, at a media conference he called.

This wasn't an ambush, a leak to be denied or rumour to be confirmed. This was Clive Palmer deliberately standing up to demonstrate a theory that the CIA is funding the Australian Greens. Why? To ensure the continued success of the American coal industry by sabotaging the Australian export coal industry. 

It's not April Fools Day, so he must believe this stuff.

It's certainly not the first time that Clive's called a press conference and surprised a few journalists: his pronouncements can range from his new soccer league to weight loss to his reaction to Wayne Swan's provocations last month. He is unpredictable and emotionally engaged. 
And more than a little unhinged.

It's lucky for the LNP that they are so confident of winning on Saturday, because a brain splodey like that from the LNP's biggest donor could give some nervous LNP voters the screaming

God only knows what LNP President Bruce McIver thinks...and Bruce is pretty close to God. He's pretty close to Professor Palmer too. Palmer is McIver's boss.

Yes, the state president of the LNP works for a billionaire mining magnate who (a) delivered a bizarre international conspiracy theory on national tellie, and (b) is the largest donor to his employee's political party.

What is Tony Abbott's response to Clive's statement?

What is Campbell Newman's response to Clive's statement?

What is Bruce McIver's response to Clive's statement?

None of these politicians has made any comment about Clive's conspiracy theory, although it is obviously something they need to take time with. Surely they must recognise the insanity of today's presser...but are they willing to distance themselves from their largest donor? 

If the do, they risk losing his financial support as well as any potential backlash from other mining interests who are supporting Clive...if anyone is... I haven't seen a single word of support for him. Yet. 

If they don't repudiate his craziness, the LNP will be seen by everyone as supporting his theories. Many already believe the relationship between mining companies and both major political parties is too close. No politician can risk being associated this theory, surely?

At least Clive's spectacular pronouncement is keeping Hajnal Black off the front page.

Uncivil Partnerships

It’s likely to be an unholy alliance between the Queensland LNP and the Christian Right.

With Queensland LNP President Bruce McIver and Premier-hopeful Campbell Newman steering the conservative bus further and further to the right, the issue of civil unions may well be a defining point of difference between two parties that have far too much in common.

Last November, Andrew Fraser spearheaded the ALP’s campaign to legalise civil partnerships, and drove it through barrage of opposition from within the LNP, and from special interest groups opposed to gay rights. The dividing line between those who support gay rights and those who don’t isn’t always clear cut, and the Queensland vote, just a few months back, was supported 47-40. LNP members were instructed to vote as a block in opposition to the bill; ALP members were permitted a conscience vote. The way this vote was handled by Labor and the LNP respectively is now reflected back as an election issue, months after the bills were passed.

At the time, Anna Bligh shared an uncharacteristically gushy moment: "This bill is fundamentally about the human rights of Queensland’s citizens, but it is much more than that. It is about the joyful business of love and that is why it has touched the hearts of so many Australians, why so many people believe that Australia should be dealing with this issue."

The LNP opposed the bill and rejected the opportunity for a conscious vote. The LNP decision was final: Civil partnerships aren’t a priority in the minds of Queenslanders, so we won’t support them.

Frankly, that’s a pretty self-serving and disingenuous thing to say, and here’s why:

·         Civil partnerships are a priority for the gay community.

·         Civil partnerships are a priority for many others in the community who have gay family members, gay friends, or even just an interest in equal rights for all.

·         Even if Civil Partnerships aren’t a priority for all, it’s no reason to make them unattainable for all.

·         It’s not the real reason for opposing the bill.

So why is this still an election issue?

It’s an issue because the LNP and their “Christian Soldiers” want it to be an issue. They oppose the bill on moral grounds, and expect that they have the right to impose their moral imperatives on all Queenslanders – not just the ones who agree with them.

Back in November, much of the opposition to the bill came from the Australian Christian Lobby’s spokesman Wendy Francis. Prior to the vote, Ms Francis was given the opportunity to present on ABC612 Brisbane her five key reasons for opposing the bill. To balance her opposition, we also heard from Paul Martin, Executive Director of the Qld Association for Healthy Communities (the former Qld AIDS Council). Take some time to examine their arguments. The vote went ahead that night, Wendy’s team lost, and there were reports of her leaving the gallery in tears.

I have great respect for anyone who fights so passionately and sincerely for what they believe in.

Fast forward three-and-a-bit months, and we’re still hearing the same arguments. Scores of Queensland couples have registered their civil unions; registered couples have started to receive their documentation this week.

But what’s this? Campbell Newman is opposing the Civil Partnerships Regulation 2012? But hasn’t that already passed? I hear you scream?

Yep.

Of course, when the bill was before the house, Mr Newman wasn’t an elected member. He still isn’t, and even if he had been, the result would not have changed.

Around the same time as the landmark vote in Queensland, a Galaxy poll found that in excess of 78% of the population supported LNP members being allowed a conscience vote on same-sex marriage. Even that had no impact on the Queensland LNP’s decision to vote as a block. The LNP's commitment to opposing this law is apparently more important than their commitment to represent the community.

As has been reported widely in the past few weeks, the LNP’s strong opposition to civil partnerships is not shared by Mr Newman. He does, however, support his party’s conservative stand: "We oppose the bill and we continue to oppose what it's about. If we can, if we get into government, we will repeal it, but that may not be possible and we don't wish to leave people in legal limbo," he said last week on the campaign trail.

Then, he was asked what would happen to couples who had entered a civil union if the LNP wins government and the bill was overturned. He was clearly losing patience: "I can't be clearer than that."

Yes, Mr Newman, you can be clearer than that, and you must.

Today I have trawled the LNP’s website looking for the official version of Newman’s position on the existing Civil Partnerships Regulation. I’ll save you time: there’s nothing there. In fact, there’s far less policy content relating to families and values than I would’ve expected. Some of the dot points resemble slogans more than policies.

Even the good old ACL has taken a stab at getting a definitive answer from the LNP. They weren’t successful either. The question, complete with agenda-laden preamble, is

Around the world, wherever Civil Partnerships are described as the “same as marriage”, the church or Christians come under pressure to provide marriage services to them. The Civil Partnerships Bill, which was recently rushed through Parliament, provides for civil partnerships which mimic marriage in all but name. The Bill provides for partnership ceremonies and amends other laws to change the meaning of “spouse” to include those in a civil partnership.

Will your party repeal all of the Civil Partnerships Bill or those parts which mimic marriage?

The LNP’s answer:

•             LNP stands strongly for the defence of marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

•             Our main focus this election will be on rebuilding the state economy.

•             Any decision will depend on whether there are any registered unions after the  election.

The LNP stands strongly for the defence of marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

The LNP has made it crystal clear that our main focus this election will be on rebuilding the state economy, and addressing the pressing cost of living issues that are affecting Queensland families.

The LNP voted against the Civil Union bill in Parliament last year because it was a political stunt by the Bligh Government to distract attention from its long list of policy failures.

Any decision on the future of civil unions in Queensland will be made after the March election, and will depend on whether there are any registered unions.

Meanwhile, the ACL has set up a new website. The media release is below.

Where does all this leave Queenslanders?

Given Mr Newman’s responses to media, and to the ACL on this issue, it appears that either the LNP doesn’t an answer to the question, or they want to keep it a secret.

The Civil Partnerships Regulation 2012 is now law, and couples – gay and straight – are free to enter into those legal partnerships. If, however, the LNP wins the election on March 24, Campbell Newman will, against his own beliefs, dismantle that law, and with it, the status of legal partnerships of couples already united will be uncertain.

Perhaps, in time, Campbell Newman's commitment to oppose Civil Unions will prove to be the least palatable of all. After all, in his heart of hearts, he supports civil unions.

Sal Notes: I am a straight woman in a bizarrely happy relationship with my man. The rest of it is not your business.

The Australia Christian Lobby (ACL) is a registered company limited by guarantee. The ACL is a lobby group, not a church.