The Twit and Twisdom of Witter

A simple, informal collection of tweets that have made me think...or made me smile.


@Ozdoogie: Sarchasm  : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. #qotd

@Clementine_Ford: "If you'd like to watch our interview with Barnaby Joyce tonight, drop some acid and watch a tree do an interpretive dance." #lateline

@Jess_Rudd:   Our Foxtel remote has carked it. No, it's not the batteries. It's pining for the fjörds.

@Richard_Schiff can't get myself to go.  And damn I look good in jammies

@TheTweetOfGod: Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

@Dom_Knight:  When the Tokyo Yakult Swallows get a home run, the fans open tiny umbrellas. Presumably to indicate it's rainin' balls. 

@latikambourke: As in oops? RT @jc_america: Santorum wins Alabama primary "We did it again," he tells supporters in Lafayette, Louisiana #GOP #Santorum

@JLLLOW WHY DO MARINES SUDDENLY APPEAR Every time, we spread fear, ... #ComCab #Darwin

@EvilCapnKirk: Roses are red,  So is bacon.  Poems are hard.  Bacon.

@MaggieA: Carrots are not the same as chocolate. They really aren't.

@Queen_UK: One's reigning men, hallelujah, one's reigning men, amen!

@Success_K1d: 2 + 2 = Fish. 3 + 3 = Eight. 4 + 4 = Arrow. 7 + 7 = Triangle. 8 + 8 = Butterfly. #Retweet If you get it.

@sweary_bear: Go easy on Clive Palmer. It's not his fucking fault the lizard people injected him with population-culling thought-control microchips.

@QPSMedia: #bnetraffic Cow running loose on Captain Cook Bridge. Avoid the area, slow down & take care. Jumped off a horse float #nobull

@HappySinger: Someone should totally do a website about Mitt Romney eating. They could call it romnomnomnom dot com.

@Theideaofnorth: What if there were no hypothetical questions?

@MisterShuffles: If you have more pineapples than you and your family could ever eat, why wouldn't you share them around? Humans are weird. #qanda

@EnjoyMedway: I've created a new laughing gas that is also a laxative just for shits and giggles.

@AlecBaldwin: Name one part of our society, our culture, that you still have faith in. That you believe is uncorrupted.



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